How do you get out of a funk and achieve life-balance as a searcher?

May 09, 2025

by a searcher from The University of Michigan - Stephen M. Ross School of Business in Mesa, AZ, USA

Hello Searcher friends, I'm going to be honest here and say that I am at a low point in life. I had to walk away from a deal last November, one that I had literally set might sights for years and thought that it was guaranteed to close in my behalf. Since then, I have moved around and my spouse is working more while having strong feelings about childcare, which leaves me as the primary caregiver of my five, that's right five, young children. The role reversal between my wife and I has lead to new stressors and adjustments as neither one of us are comfortable in our new respective roles. Now, I've almost given up on the dream of buying a small business and being my own boss. My life situation requires constant flexibility which usually means my time to search for a business and learn ETA gets flexed away but other demands and expectations. Has anyone in this community felt the same? Or been in a similar situation? How did you get out of it? How do you achieve balance between family duties, self-care, and the work it takes to be a successful searcher? I would appreciate your help. Josh

Reply by a searcher
from New York University in New York, NY, USA

Hey Josh, I am in a similar boat, with just 1 kid. My role reversal started last year and not gonna lie, it was a ROUGH year for me. I discovered this community specifically to help me get out of my funk too after my deal fall apart last minute and wifey and I were headed towards a split bc I still had an ego about it all. And boy, was I really counting on that deal to "fix everything". I am happy to say that I am on the other side of the rough patch and got thru bc you, me, all of us here, we are built different and we don't have a choice but to make it work. I had to figure out how to prioritize my family the same way we'll have to figure out how to prioritize the needs of our businesses. The skills are transferrable. And net-net, I wouldn't trade the time I got to spend with my kid and everything she taught me for anything in the world. Like ^Josh Calderon said, I came to accept that it wasn't my time bc if my deal had closed, I would not have been ready. I needed more time at home - not less - to address other things that needed to be addressed before I bought a business. In hindsight, things worked out the way they needed to, despite my best efforts to make them work out the way I wanted them to. There's no doubt you and I are going to close our deals. That's the (relatively) easy part. The hard part is staying an awesome dad while also being an awesome CEO. The good news is that now you know how to do both.

Reply by an investor
from New York University in New York, NY, USA

Hi Josh - Regrets are the worst things to have in life. You don't want to look back when you're old and gray and regret not going for it. I'm not saying to be reckless, and I'm not saying that you necessarily have to go for it now, but don't give up if this is really what you want to do. Keep making progress - maybe it's slower than you would have liked, and maybe it's not exactly in a straight line, but keeping working towards the goal. Also, searching for a business can be a very lonely pursuit. You've reached out here to get the opinions of others - make sure you are surrounding yourself with a great support network. The searchfunder community is incredibly supportive - take full advantage of that! Good luck!

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