Seller told me QuickBooks had been down all morning right as I arrived for the site visit. I worked at a software company. That excuse lasted about three seconds in my brain. He was hiding the books and betting I wouldn't know better. ►EXECUTIVE SUMMARY  1) QUICKBOOKS HASredacted% UPTIME — IF IT WAS DOWN, IT WOULD BE ON CNN: Seller told me QuickBooks had been down all morning right as I arrived for the site visit. I worked at a software company. That excuse lasted about three seconds in my brain. He was hiding the books and betting I wouldn't know better. 2) I STAYED AN EXTRA NIGHT JUST TO WATCH HIM LIE HARDER: Instead of flying home, I stuck around. The next day, four employees delivered rehearsed performances pretending the business was profitable. Every single one had been coached. This wasn't a white lie — it was a full production. 3) SOME SELLERS DON'T JUST LIE — THEY BUILD A CAST TO SELL THE LIE: This man recruited his entire staff to deceive a buyer. Paper-based reports, spreadsheets you can't audit, coached employees. When people tell you sellers make "innocent mistakes" with financials, remember this story.